Lily Allen was in a deep state of depression upon separating from her second husband, actor David Harbour.
The English pop vocalist alluded to their breakup in a new British Vogue profile, which was published this week. Allen and Harbour married in 2020, two years after the singer divorced her first husband, Sam Cooper, with whom she shares two daughters. While details of their split are not public, the singer now refers to Harbour as her "ex-husband."
Allen recalled that during the period her relationship was falling apart, her declining mental health exacerbated "real problems" with her eating habits. She also came close to relapsing over five years after becoming sober.
"The feelings of despair that I was experiencing were so strong,” she explained. "The last time that I felt anything like that, drugs and alcohol were my way out, so it was excruciating to sit with those [feelings] and not use them."
The 40-year-old ended up checking herself into a residential facility, which she called "progress" after feeling "held against her will" in similar spaces previously.
"That’s strength. I knew that the things I was feeling were too extreme to be able to manage, and I was like, 'I need some time away,'" Allen said, adding that she felt like, she "wanted to die."
Allen, who's preparing to release her fifth album, insisted that she's "come a long way" and has gotten into the "thick of recovery."
In March, Allen revealed on her podcast Miss Me? that she'd gotten a breast augmentation after her breakup with Harbour. Two months before, the singer admitted that she was "spiraling" after the media started to fuel rumors of their split.
“I just can't concentrate on anything except the pain that I'm going through," Allen told her co-host, Miquita Oliver.