Much like the Jasons or the Freddy Kruegers of the cinema world, Jurassic Park may be based on deeply developed stories and characters, but let’s call a spade a spade here: fans keep turning up for these movies to see their favorite dinosaur will rip a person to shreds.
No matter the size, look, or seemingly innocent portrayal a dinosaur may have, these movies prove that they're beasts not to be trifled with. Whether you are the small appetizer to a Mosasaurus, or swarmed to death by cute little Compys, the Jurassic movies are a delightful buffet of savagery that always leave their mark (despite a consistent PG-13 rating). In honor of the release of Jurassic World Rebirth we have compiled a list of the best dinosaur-on-people kills throughout the 6 existing films. There are many classics, but only one can be the apex predator of this list and make number 1. As a wise man once said “Nature, finds a way.”
10. Nash Eaten By Spinosaurus (Jurassic Park 3)
This one's a pretty simple kill as far as Jurassic Park deaths go. After the Spinosaurus already makes lunch of Cooper, it continues to chase Alan Grant and his crew into the forest. After literally ripping him from the plane they're hiding in, the Spinosaurus proceeds to throw Nash on the floor, step on him, and eat his head. Not creative, necessarily, but it got the job done.
9. Cooper Eaten By Spinosaurus (Jurassic Park 3)
Cooper is unwillingly given the honor of introducing us to the Spinosaurus in Jurassic Park 3. Before he dies, we see that he's deeply perturbed by something ominious lumbering towards the plane. The buildup does not disappoint as this newest entry in the Jurassic universe enters the fray.
8. Peter Ludlow Eaten By Baby T-Rex and Parent (Lost World)
As scary as the dinosaurs can be, it always hits just right when a character we grow to detest gets his comeuppance. When Peter Ludlow makes the mistake of attempting to steal a baby T-Rex from its parents, he soon becomes a family meal as the older T-Rex uses Ludlow as a teaching moment for the offspring to learn how to kill. Bonding can be beautiful.
7. Vic Hoskins mauled by Delta The Raptor (Jurassic World)
One more baddie turned into dinosaur dinner, and this particular entry has a dose of dark humor attached to it. When Hoskins is cornered in a lab toward the end of Jurassic World, he attempts to calm a Raptor the same way Owen Grady does: by sticking his hand out to soothe the beast. After shortly inspecting said hand, the Raptor proceeds to chomp down on the outreached hand and quickly makes food of the antagonist.
6. Dieter Stark Eaten By A Pack of Compys (Lost World)
There aren’t many things you would consider “cute” in the Jurassic Park series, but a Compsognathus could be misconstrued as adorable (when they are alone, of course). Dieter Stark underestimates these tiny terrors and is eventually killed by a swarm of them.
5. Robert Muldoon Eaten By Velociprator (Jurassic Park)
As horrifying as the Velociprators were, we thought for sure that the Dino-Hunting expert, Muldoon, would be a match for them. Unfortunately, the pack mentality of the Raptors proved too much for our hero. “Clever girl…”
4. Eddie Carr Torn in Two by Two T-Rexes (Lost World)
Eddie Carr is exactly what trying to be a hero gets you in the world of Jurassic Park. While trying to save Ian Malcom and crew from the edge of a cliff, he attracts the attention of two T-Rexes that commence to devouring Carr, splitting him in two because the notion of sharing transcends ancient species.
3. Dennis Nedry Killed By Dilophosaurus (Jurassic Park)
Dennis Nedry somehow made himself more of a pain in the ass than the escaped, human-eating dinosaurs. A lot of us were eager to see Seinfeld’s Newman bite the big one when he was accosted by a poison-spitting Dilophosaurus.
2. Zara Young killed by a series of Dinosaurs (Jurassic World)
In a world of vicious dinosaur-related deaths, nobody had it worse than Zara Young. During the dinosaur breakout in the new Jurassic World resort (because nobody learned a damn thing from the first three movies) the entire park falls under siege by various dinosaurs. In the mayhem Zara is first swooped up by a Pteranadon (and almost ripped in half) before the dinosaur and Zara fall into the lagoon, who are both in turned devoured by a gigantic Mosasaurus.
1. Donald Gennaro Eaten By T-Rex (Jurassic Park)
Meeting your maker being eaten by a friggin' T-Rex is not ideal, but getting eaten while you sit on a toilet after you left two children to fend for themselves against said T-Rex? Well, that earns you the top spot on this list. As Ian Malcom once said, “When you gotta go, you gotta go.”